It hasn’t been a full week yet, and I am still at a loss for words when speaking to or reaching out to my good friend and “twin”. You see, last Wednesday she gave birth to a stillborn. She is also still hospitalized in the ICU as a result of the complications that arose during the labor and birth. Her beautiful baby girl was buried on Friday. She was unable to attend.
Times like this really hit home hard. When someone you love is hurting and you want to take their pain away but simply can’t. Needless to say, the past 4 days have been rough. Naturally we want to go to them and be a pillar of strength during their time of need. We want to call often to check on them and their family. We want to express our sympathy over and over again.
Truth is, the best thing we can do after offering our initial condolences is…let the mother rest and have time to herself. She needs time to process all that has happened and time to understand her feelings about it. Sharing your pregnancy loss story during this time is not the best move. This is not to invalidate your experience, but more so to validate her experience and feelings as her own. When she is ready, she will reach out.
I’ve spent these past few days praying for her and her family, and trying to keep busy as to not fall back into a slump as I remember my own angel babies. Those of you who are able please say a prayer for her. Pray for her healing and her return to health. Pray for the soul of her beautiful baby and her children who are here with us. Pray for the healing of her husband as he too is dealing with this loss.
Pregnancy loss is never an easy subject to approach. The one thing to remember when tested with this it that, this too shall pass. You will never forget your angel baby, but you will learn to move forward and carry them with you in your heart.
Here’s to all the angel babies and their beautifully strong mothers…