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Being Mom: That “S” on Your Chest!

Listen, some days being a mom is the most beautiful and amazing experience in the world.  Other days it can be down right awful!  It’s ok sister, I understand and feel your joy AND your pain.  Let’s throw the politically correct foolishness out of the window and be 100% real up in here.  Yes, I did say “up in here”!

 

Being Mom_ That %22S%22 on Your Chest

Being a mother of 5, I have to be 5 different mothers on a daily basis.  My 2 year old needs me to set boundaries, sing nursery rhymes, and kiss her boo-boos.  My 17 year old, well, he needs me to be mom, friend, employer, and relationship coach.  It gets tough around these parts!  The middle children require parts of me that I didn’t even know existed until I became a mother!

We’ve all heard the saying before about us.  You know the one about us wearing an “S” on our chest.  The “S” that symbolizes our supernatural powers.  Those powers that fathers don’t possess, or maybe they do secretly but they act as if they don’t so us mothers can feel special.  Ha!

For real though ladies, we have to figure out a way to balance being Super Mom and making time for ourselves.  How many times have you gone weeks without doing anything special to your hair?  Or here’s an even better one!  How long have you gone without wearing anything that isn’t workout or yoga appropriate?  Y’all know exactly what I mean!  Sweats, yoga pants, t-shirts, tank tops, and my favorite…headscarfs!  Yep, you feel me now.  It’s cool to be comfortable.  It’s not cool to be so consumed with being a mother and our duties as a mother, that we neglect ourselves.

At times we may get so caught up that we don’t realize how crazy we actually look.  My mother had to point it out to me yesterday when she came into my kitchen, and I was standing at the stove looking like a cross between a unicorn and a storm trooper.  Yes, my friends it was that bad!

So what do we do to carve out time for ourselves, and keep it looking tight for ourselves and husbands?  Here are 3 steps to regaining our independence, and hanging up our mom hat even if just for a few minutes a day.

  • Wake up early – Yes you read that right.  Wake up early.  Just think about it.  Early mornings are typically one of the most peaceful times of day.  The sun is rising, dew has freshly fallen, and the little people and hubby are still asleep.  Jump out of bed before the house awakens and grab some time for yourself.  Drink a cup of tea, go for a run or walk, do yoga, read, pray, work on a hobby, meditate, or do whatever floats your boat.  The goal is to do it, consistently.
  • Turn yourself off – Get the children down to bed early enough so that you have time to decompress and unwind.  This is no easy task. Trust me, I know as my little people are up until around 10-11pm EVERY night!  I’m a work in progress.  You should be too.  Let’s get these kiddos to bed so we can relax.  Take the extra time before you turn in to do anything you like.  This is a great time for a sofa date with hubby!
  • SAY NO! – Of course we don’t want to.  But we NEED to!  We can’t possibly say yes all of the time.  It is ok to say no.  No, you can’t come to the grocery store with me.  No, I don’t think this weekend is a good time to go to the movies.  No, you can’t come in the bathroom with me (for those of us with toddlers).  No, I don’t feel like cooking tonight, have some cereal.  See how easy that was?  Saying no allows us to free up our mental and emotional self.  We have to learn to protect ourselves from burnout.  If we constantly say yes we risk the chance of losing our true selves and the gut born energy it takes to keep on going and wearing that “S” every single day.  Just say no!

Let me know how you put these 3 steps into action.  I’ll keep you all posted as well.  My “S” is faded and needs the edges sewn back together, so I know I have some work to do.  Here’s to you Super Mom!

 

 

The life and times of one Black mama who conquered the world through adoption. This is my story.

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